How low can you go

Disappointment. I hate it. Always have and aways will. I think I hate it so because it means you have to put your expectations and trust into something or someone. Out of the two the latter is the hardest to do. Trusting someone else is the scariest thing to do. So why do we do it? Why do we put our hopes in another humans hands?

Over the years I've learned to lower my expectations. I think it's a defense mechanism just so I won't get hurt. But you know what regardless of how low my expectations get I still end up getting hurt. And I know the reason why know more than ever. I never expected anything out of myself. I mean I always strived to be better than I was before but I didn't expect my self to do it. I just did it because I thought I was supposed to. 

The only person I can count on is me and God. And in order for trust to work within me I have to believe that God is for me. That I'm better than I can see and I deserve better than I would choose or give myself.