La la la la la la

Seems lately I've been living in la la land. Feeling lovestruck for some reason. No I'm not going to spill any tea on here lol. Haven't told the person and won't tell the person. Don't even think he has any idea and while it hurts I think thats exactly what keeps la la land running. The idea of wanting something you can't have is a captivating thing. 

So why continue to live in this land what joy am I getting out of it? This past year I've had more downs than ups. More hurt than healing. And more shockers than sensationals. In psychopathology we learn that those that deal with trauma tend to go into an alternate state of mind.  Just for clarification I don't think any of the things I've been through have caused me any trauma rendering dissociation. But I can understand the mind needing a break. A place of solace and refuge. 

Sometimes we get so caught up in the bad we get stuck in it. 

So as I write this post. I'm just gonna take a break daydream and think about the what ifs instead of thinking about the what's real