As I said numerous times as I began this journey of change I've stopped seeking approval from others but I haven't been totally honest in that regard. I continue to look for that gold star, high five and pat on the back from my family. I expect that if I can't get it from anyone or anywhere else I can bet my last I'll get it there. But I've been lying to myself, living in denial and causing myself more harm than good.
Today I realize that my trust and expectations start and finish with myself and God. As much as it hurts sometimes you have to let go of the ideal image that you created for others. They'll never be who you want them to be, and you'll never get the confirmation you've been begging for. So where does that leave you?
Speaking for me, it leaves me with a new revelation. I AM my gold star, I AM my high five, I AM my pat on the back. Despite what others think about me I AM doing the right thing.
So as I let go of ideals, expectation, and confirmation. I also let go of disappointment, hurt, and pain. And this gains more than I've ever imagined. A stronger sense of self worth and belief in myself.
"My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him." Psalms 62:5
DREAMS, HOPE, FAITH & INSPIRATION as the kitten sees himself a lion ~self achievement is important. The book of Psalms 62.5 points out that God's expectation of us is more important. Whether we see ourselves as Superstars ( gold, platinum, bronze etc) whether we receive accolades and trophies from others, our self worth and accomplishments are based on our deeds. No one know what lurks in the hearts of man ~ God knows! We are only dashes and dots in this world so we should live life to the fullest. We should dream to believe to achieve inner piece and self worth. If others believe then LG ( life good)~when our time here is spent and we are only a memory. Our biggest audience is GOD with the final judgement of our self worth,accomplishments and heart.
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